


How did I meet this guy?

by orphan_account



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Attempted Murder, Based on a Saturday Night Live Sketch, First Date (kind of), First Dates, Hannibal (TV) Season/Series 02, M/M, Oblivious Will Graham, Singing, will doesn't suspect hannibal, will isnt in the BSHCI
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:42:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29934279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Will and Hannibal go row boating for their first date after Beverly was killed, and Hannibal might be hiding somethingWritten because of an SNL sketch, takes place in a universe where Will never went to jail and never suspected Hannibal of being the Ripper.
Relationships: Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter
Comments: 1
Kudos: 29





	How did I meet this guy?

**Author's Note:**

> I thought of this late and night and had to do something with it. I recommend watching this snl sketch: https://youtu.be/V_n_wrftIYM since I based this entire fic off of it. Anyways, I'm sorry.

Will shivered slightly in the cold evening air. It was a beautiful night. There was a gentle breeze that brushed back Will’s curls, and the darkening sky was dotted with stars that glistened brightly. It was a full moon, and it provided just enough light to illuminate Hannibal’s sculpted features.

Will gazed adoringly at the man sitting across from him as Hannibal heaved the paddles of the rowboat. He couldn’t help but notice how strong the psychiatrist was. Did he work out? 

They had rowed to about the middle of the lake when Hannibal put the paddles down and started to stare at Will with one of his unreadable expressions. Will smiled at him and sighed deeply.

“What a romantic evening,” Will told Hannibal dreamily. “This might be the best first date of my life.” Hannibal seemed to look around furtively before chuckling nervously.

“Yes, Will,” He agreed. “This has been a most pleasurable time for me as well.” If spotting details hadn’t been Will’s job, he would have barely noticed how Hannibal’s eyes darted around the water again. But he couldn’t blame him, the deep blue water was absolutely mesmerizing.

Will fiddled with his hands nervously before gazing back up into Hannibal’s eyes. “Hannibal?”

“Yes Will?”

“I am so happy that I met you.” Will had never felt this so ensnared by someone before. Hannibal understood him, and he could understand Hannibal. He felt as if he was walking on air, nothing could ruin his high.

Hannibal gave a small smile, but it seemed vaguely shaky. “You are not alone in this feeling William,” he assured him.

“Hannibal?”

“Yes?”

Will looked at his hands once again, ashamed. “I haven’t been totally honest with you,” he admitted. Hannibal’s eyebrows went up in confusion. “I usually tell you about all the new information on the Ripper, but I didn’t this time. Beverly was killed by him while investigating who he is.” Hannibal’s eyes flew wide open in surprise. Although, his expression seemed vaguely exaggerated.

“Oh goodness, Will,” he exclaimed. “I cannot believe that. I am deeply sorrowful for your loss.” Hannibal reached to comfortingly stroke Will’s face. They gazed into each other’s eyes for a split second before Will blushed and turned away.

“Yes,” Will said, moving the conversation back to Bev. “Before she died, she warned me that the Chesapeake Ripper might try to kill me next.” Hannibal nervously rubbed a hand on the back of his neck. 

“I felt so unsafe.” Will looked sadly into the water. Then he smiled shyly and looked back into Hannibal’s eyes. “So you can imagine how happy I was when one of my closest friends who matches the Ripper’s profile contacted me out of nowhere and asked me to go on a date in the middle of a lake,” he said dreamily. Hannibal chuckled nervously.

“Yes Will,” He agreed. “Life is unpredictable and interesting like that.”

“It is. It is crazy like that.” Will sighed, smiling widely. Then Will could have sworn he heard romantic music start echoing in his head. 

“How did I meet this guy?” Will looked out to the water and started to sing in his head. “How did I get so lucky? He came at the perfect time. I swear he’s my knight in shining armor. He makes me smile, he makes me laugh. His arms are so strong, he could break me in half. How did I meet this guy? How did I get so lucky?” Will shyly avoided Hannibal’s eyes and just gazed across the lake.

“I must kill William.” Hannibal started to sing to himself as well. “Ideally within the next half hour. Then I can commute back home, and prepare him for my dinner. I feel regretful, as he seems really nice. But such is the life of a serial killer and cannibal. I gotta kill this man. And then eat him for dinner.” The two men had finished their song, and the music seemed to stop. Will hadn’t noticed Hannibal’s lyrics and took his hand.

“Hannibal?” Will asked, lovestruck.” I know it’s only our first date, but I feel like we’re soulmates.” Hannibal smiled to himself.

“Yes Will,” he agreed. “We are similarly different in a beautiful way.” Will started to smile even wider.

“Yeah! We both love dogs.” Will pointed out.

“Yes, dogs are vaguely interesting.”

“We listen to Mother Mother.”

“Indeed Will, we both know who that is.”

Will laughed, hardly believing he could have found someone so perfect. “And you’re the only person I’ve ever met who loves profiling murderers more than I do.” Hannibal nodded enthusiastically.

“I do love killers.” He smiled. Will chuckled again.

“Sometimes I think you just copy whatever I say!” Hannibal laughed at that as well, but more nervously than Will.

“So,” Hannibal coughed. “Beverly, she left you a document with details on the Ripper?” Will’s smile dropped slightly, hesitant to talk about his dead friend.

“Yeah, she did,” Will said. “Right after she died, I found it on her computer in a file addressed to me. It said I should only show it to Jack. Isn’t that crazy?” Hannibal nodded.

“It is an unbelievable event to happen,” He agreed. “So where do you keep that document?”

Will coyly shook his finger at the other man. “Oh Hannibal,” he teased. “I can’t tell you all of my secrets.” Hannibal laughed monotony.

Will heard the same music swell once again and continued his song. “I guess this proves Price and Zeller wrong. I do have super good taste in boyfriends.”

Hannibal resumed his singing as well. “This is the simplest murder ever. This man has really horrid taste in boyfriends.”

“I love the way his eyes dart about as if he’s afraid that someone will see us.” Will smoothly serenaded.

They then sang at the same time. As Will crooned “How did I meet this man? How did I get so lucky?” Hannibal was vocalizing “ I must kill this man. It is indeed a shame that he is so naive.” The music once again dropped to silence. Will turned back to Hannibal, adoration shining in his eyes.

“I feel like I can tell you anything,” he said. Hannibal looked intrigued.

“Oh really?” He asked, interested. “Where is the document then?” Will smiled innocently.

“It’s right here,” Will smoothly pulled a USB flash drive from his coat jacket. Hannibal’s eyes widened in happiness.

“Have you shown that to anyone else, Will?” He could barely hold back his grin. Once he got the flash drive and took care of Will, he would be safe.

“No,” Will assured him. “Just my man. Just my wonderful man.” Will leaned his head on his hands, gazing dreamily at Hannibal. Hannibal was still grinning like a maniac.

“Ah Will, that is very good. That is very good.” 

Will started to get a bit nervous as the music started yet again “I’m starting to get a bad feeling, that this is the Ripper who’s about to kill me. I should’ve suspected that something was wrong when the boat was chained up and he bit the lock off. Why did I trust Hannibal? Why am I such a dummy?” The music stopped abruptly as Will looked in the water, nervous and ashamed.

Hannibal pulled Will’s face towards him and nodded. “You are correct. I am the Ripper.” Will looked confused.

“How did you know I was thinking that?” he asked. Hannibal gave a half-smile.

“Well William, you have been singing out loud.” He informed the FBI man. Will just sighed in defeat.

“So are you gonna kill me?”

“No, Will,” Hannibal said seriously. “I just cannot do it. I must have lost my nerve.” Will looked up, hopeful.

“Is it because we’re soulmates?” Hannibal just shook his head.

“No William, it’s that I have realized I will not be able to swim in this suit.” The cannibal started to look at the water suspiciously as if he thought it was going to jump out at him. Will just smiled at him.

“Don’t worry Hannibal,” he said confidently. “I can paddle us back.” Hannibal looked at him appreciatively. 

“Thank you, Will.”

The music started up again as the two men gazed into each other’s eyes lovingly. They then sang at the same time. “I’m gonna have sex with this guy, how did I get so lucky?”


End file.
